spider poet

chapbook

2009-10-06T20:11:00.003-06:00

I've already posted this on Facebook, but I forgot about people who aren't on there. My chapbook, Sawdust, Sugarcube, is now out from dancing girl press.

If you like poetry, or you just want to support a small, independent press, please consider buying my chapbook! You can order by clicking here.

please watch

2009-08-28T10:55:00.002-06:00

2009-08-22T11:50:00.005-06:00

On a different note, an editorial about health care reform by Obama:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/16/opinion/16obama.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1

What can I say? I'm Canadian...

2009-08-20T12:56:00.002-06:00

(click on the picture to make it bigger)

Another reason to love Bozeman

2009-08-10T20:08:00.005-06:00

This blog has been severely neglected, I know. Summer has kept us busy with travelling, hiking, relaxing, working, taking exams, passing exams, etc.

Anyway, moving on. This past weekend was the Sweet Pea Festival, which was lots of fun (it helps that it's only a couple of blocks away too). Here are excerpts from two great shows.

Taylor 2 dance company from New York:

Ricardo Lemvo and Makina Loca--great Afro-Cuban group:

sadness

2009-03-25T14:19:00.004-06:00

It doesn't seem fair or right that tomorrow morning we will leave for Winnipeg for the very same reason we travelled there 1 1/2 years ago: to attend the funeral of an aunt who lost her battle to cancer. The photo of Aunty Louise above is how I remember and know her, even though I know she didn't look like that by the end after cancer had overtaken her body.

I have so many good memories of her: everything from camping and boating in Shuswap in BC, to encountering black bears while camping in Ontario, to her green eyeshadow, to her bubbly laugh, to her vibrancy and passion. Last summer at my brother's wedding in Virginia, she was still her same old self, even though she'd just recently finished her chemo. We had a conversation about how her experience with cancer had made her realize what was most important in life, and that many things she'd worried about before were actually unimportant. "Cancer changes a person," I said. "Yes, it does," she said. What I loved most about her was her openess--she wore her whole emotional self right out in the open. It was a beautiful thing, to never wonder how she felt or where you stood with her.

I can still hear her laugh echoing in my head. It makes it hard to believe that she's gone. To have someone so young (only 59) die from such an awful disease really makes me question a lot of things. I've been thinking a lot about our bodies, and how they carry us through life. How could a part of the body that produced life (her children) turn around and betray her and end up killing her? I know these kinds of experiences should make us treasure what we have and who we love, and I definitely do. But at the same time, I am having to make a conscious effort to notice the beautiful things in the world, because sometimes the ugly, ugly things seem so much more powerful.

Here is Aunty Louise dancing at our wedding with my uncle and one of their granddaughters:

Here is a link to her obituary: http://www.passagesmb.com/obituary_details.cfm?ObitID=147996

Please think of us tomorrow as we head up to Winnipeg. There are winter storms going on right now, not to mention the flooding in North Dakota/Manitoba. We hope to have a safe trip. We already know that it's going to be a sad trip.

big day in Bozeman

2009-03-06T09:01:00.005-07:00

I'm not sure if I believe in the idea of a sixth sense, but I definitely did feel anxious yesterday morning. I thought it was because it was snowing pretty heavily and I was nervous about Josh driving to school. Fast-forward to about 8:15 a.m.--I am just out of the shower and making some toast for breakfast. Suddenly all the power goes out and about two seconds later, it feels like something HUGE fell on the roof of our building. The windows rattled and the dishes clanked in the cupboards, and I could even feel it rattle in my chest.

Hmm, I thought. Honestly, I wasn't too scared because we've had so much construction on our building lately that I've gotten used to banging and thudding. And with the snow, I thought maybe something had toppled over on the roof. About half an hour later, the power was back on.

But then I heard on the radio that there was an explosion downtown Bozeman. I turned on the TV and learned more and saw the beginning coverage. Apparently there was a natural gas explosion in a restaurant on Main St that totally levelled 3 buildings and destroyed 6 businesses. Windows were blown out of buildings up to 2 blocks away. There was a car parked in front of the restaurant that was blown into the middle of the street. Some people who live or work a couple of blocks away said the explosion sounded like an airplane crashing into their building, or a cannonball going off, or an earthquake. We live about 4 blocks away from Main St., and I definitely felt it too.

So this is a pretty big deal here. There was a mandatory evacuation for a 2-block radius and Main St. will definitely be closed for several days while they clean up all the debris. The National Guard has been called in. One of the gas lines still hasn't been shut off, which is another reason why no one is allowed to get close. They let the fire keep burning all day yesterday because they weren't able to shut the gas line off. One woman is still missing, and they haven't been able to start searching for her until today because of the debris, gas, and fire. But how amazing that no one else was hurt or killed. It's truly amazing.

So it's kind of sad that part of Main St. is destroyed. A deli that we really liked is gone, as well as a restaurant that I had been hoping to try soon. The picture above is of the fire yesterday morning taken from our apartment building 4 blocks away. We could smell the smoke all the way by our apartment.

Exciting and scary.

Click here for the coverage from our local news. Click on the yellow highlighted "photo gallery" link to see impressive photos of the destruction.

Yellowstone, Hyalite, dogs & dragons

2009-02-24T14:02:00.011-07:00

We've been having the most beautiful weather here lately. Yesterday I opened the windows in the apartment because it was in the 60's and felt like spring. Nice! I'm definitely not suffering from the same anti-winter feelings that I had last year in South Dakota. Probably because of the abundant sunshine and the lack of wind here.

We've been keeping busy, in a good way. This past weekend we went to our first ball after doing 6 weeks of dancing lessons. As Josh said, it was our "debut," and there is definitely a learning curve! It was PACKED there, so not only were we very focused on doing the right steps, we were also worried about crashing into people. We only know the foxtrot and jitterbug right now, so we couldn't dance to every dance. But it was still fun!

On sunny days, a neighbour on the bottom floor puts out its reptile to bask in the sunshine. Josh calls it an iguana, but I don't think it is? Is it a komodo dragon? I don't know. We aren't allowed to have pets in our building, but... I'm not a tattle-tale. Here it is (click on photo to enlarge):

A couple of weeks ago, we spontaneously jumped in the car and headed down to....

Yes, it's closed in the winter. BUT, one road in the northern part of the park that runs east-west is open all year. So we took that as far east as we could go. I took a lot of pictures, but I won't bore you with all of them. Here are just a few. Here is one of many elk relaxing in the sun:

There's a reason why the park is closed in the winter--the roads aren't very clear.

We saw a couple hundred buffalo. They were all over! They are like 2000-pound snowplows. They just plow through several feet of snow with their snouts, digging around for the grass underneath.

We went as far as the road went. Literally. It's closed at the east end of the park, and there is no way out but back the way you came. Actually, it's right outside of the park, a little town called Cooke City. It's where all the snowmobiles and their riders come. Cooke City was like an old Western town. There was one main street, covered in snow, but instead of horses tied up to hitching posts like in a Western movie, there were snowmobiles parked up and down Main Street.

Obviously we had to turn around at that point. It was getting dark anyway. Because the ground is so hot in Yellowstone (from the volcano underneath it), when the cool night air descended, it got very steamy. We were driving through a fog. (By the way, Josh researched the "super-volcano" in Yellowstone when we got home. There have been more than 1000 little earthquakes in the last 2 months in Yellowstone, but geophysicists say it's nothing to worry about. However, if it did blow, we would be in big trouble! Also, if it blew, it would wipe out half of the U.S., so don't think you're safe just because you don't live as close as we do!)

So that brings us to this past weekend. I had a strong desire to take a nap in the sun, so we drove about 20 minutes out of town up to a place called Hyalite Reservoir. I don't know if you can see it in the pictures, but there were cross-country skiers everywhere. (click on the picture to enlarge it)

We don't have skis, so we couldn't join them. We could have gone hiking, but we didn't bring proper gear for that either (since there was so much snow up there). Anyway, we came to just enjoy the sunshine! So we felt a little weird, but after we sat outside for a while, we hung out in the car where it was still very sunny and warm. Josh brought his model to work on. And I ate refried beans out of a can since that's what I felt like eating for lunch. We joked that we probably looked like we were homeless with all our junk in the back seat, Josh working on his model, and me eating beans from a can. Oh well! It was a very enjoyable afternoon.

Josh wanted me to include this. This is a doggy "hitching post" at the grocery store and it proves that Bozeman is a real dog town:

Congratulations if you made it this far! That's all for now.

Mr. Tax Man

2009-02-03T15:07:00.003-07:00

That's what I called Josh this weekend. I married a man who loves to do taxes. How lucky am I? Very, very lucky. Josh and I are similar in many ways when it comes to our personality. But opposites do attract in one spot in our relationship--taxes! He loves to do them, and I hate to do them.

So he spent a good deal of the weekend working on them (after spending several days drooling at the mailbox, hoping all our forms would come). He dragged his computer into the living room and got all cozy on the couch. Once in a while he would take a break and listen to music and get lost in it. It was pretty funny to watch, and awfully cute too.

I got two short videos of Mr. Tax Man during his "breaks." In the first one, he had no idea I was recording him until the end. He was so lost in his music. In the second one, if you listen hard you can hear him singing along, and at the end he says, "Taxes always make me excited."

On a more serious note, one of my aunts who lives in Winnipeg is very sick. She has cancer which reappeared after everyone thought it was gone. And now she also has a very rare and complicated syndrome called paraneoplastic syndrome. From what I understand, her immune system recognizes there is cancer in her body, but while it is fighting the cancer it also is inexplicably attacking her own brain (the cerebellum), causing a lot of neurological damage. It's more complicated than that, but you can do your own research if you want to know more. She is a fun-loving, passionate, sensitive person, and this is very difficult (especially since she's only in her 50's). Any prayers and good wishes are very, very welcomed.

happy days

2009-01-20T13:57:00.007-07:00

Happy Martin Luther King Day yesterday!

Happy Inauguration Day today! It's been hard for me to focus on my work today as I have the TV on in the background. It's just so exciting and emotional!

Wow, it's been a long time since I last posted. Christmas came and went. We were blessed with perfect weather all the days we drove between Montana and Iowa--pretty lucky since the weather before, during and after had been kind of treacherous. Christmas was fun and relaxing, but way too fast, as always. It was good to see family again, and it was good to get home to Bozeman.

Honestly, not a lot is going on here lately. Josh has been back at school for a couple of weeks now. I think it was a bit difficult to go back, but it seems mostly smooth now. I started my semester last week--I'm teaching another class online, this time it's creative writing. Starting to work on reading my exam list in earnest.

Josh and I are also taking some dancing lessons, which has been pretty fun. It's just basic ballroom, and so far we've learned the foxtrot. Ballroom dancing is yet one more thing that looks easy, but is actually pretty complicated to carry off well! A lot of men are like limp noodles and don't really direct very well (they're supposed to lead since the woman is always moving backwards and thus can't ever see where she's going). So I've crashed into quite a few people, thanks to the mens' lack of leading. I'm happy to report that Josh is a good leader, and I like dancing with him the best.

I think it's a little funny that we've completely missed all the frigid temperatures that so much of the Midwest has experienced lately. Here we are up in the mountains and we've just been having lovely, sunny weather. We went and did a little more exploring this past weekend. Nothing too thrilling, but maybe pictures are more interesting than my words.

We came across this old elevator in a little canyon:

I just couldn't get enough of that miniature horse on the left side of the picture. Too bad you can't see it better:

Also hard to see--a bunch of deer in the middle of a field:

Tra la la!

This looked like an old mine shaft in the side of a hill:

This is going really far back, all the way to Christmas. I took this picture because Josh and Scott (brother-in-law) were both napping the same way and even wearing the same outfit:

And here they're having a special moment together:

concerts

2008-12-16T12:28:00.006-07:00

I know much of the country is in a deep-freeze right now--we are too. Brr. We also had a big blizzard this past Saturday, which was kind of fun!

Anyway, it feels like things are winding down around here. Josh is nearly 100% recovered from that nasty, nasty illness he had (still crossing my fingers that I don't get it). I have final portfolios from my students coming in later this week, so I have those to grade and final grades to figure out. But can I say how glorious it is to be at the end of a semester and NOT have to write a 20-25 page paper (or two)? It is so wonderful.

The elementary school concert was a week ago already. Despite Josh's being sick, it was a big hit! (I've included some short videos below) It was pretty fun to watch him up there, directing and even joining the kids for some dancing and other activities. The audience really loved it, because who can resist cute kids?

Last night was the middle school/highschool concert. It was also a really beautiful concert--a lessons and carols service. I was so caught up in it that I completely forgot to take any pictures of it.... :( But it was also well-received by the audience.

So now we can relax and look forward to the upcoming break. Oh, I have a cute story. A while ago, Josh and I were at a school volleyball game, and we were sitting by one of Josh's grade 1 students and her mom. So last night the mom and the little girl came up to me and the mom said, "After we met you at the game, my daughter said, 'Mr. Meendering's wife is sooo pretty!'" Sorry, I can't help it--I just thought that was so adorable.

Anyway, here's some short videos of the elementary kids in this order: 1) kindergarteners, 2) grade 1, 3) grade 3 (ha ha, my personal favourite--seeing Josh line-dancing) and 4) the whole group (K-5):

shh...

2008-12-08T10:05:00.002-07:00

It has been very quiet at the DB-M household. That's because Josh lost his voice about a week ago, and it hasn't come back yet. I'm not quite sure how he managed to teach with no voice, but apparently he did.

He had a mild cold a couple of weeks ago, which went away. But then last week he lost his voice, and a few days later he got really sick. He was so sick on Saturday that I took him to the walk-in clinic. The doctor said it's just a virus. I'm still not completely convinced that it isn't influenza, given the aggressive nature of this thing, and how long it's lasting.

This morning he said he's feeling better, but I think he still has a long way to go. He stayed home this morning, but he has to go to school this afternoon because the elementary students are having their Christmas program tonight. Talk about bad timing! Please send good thoughts Josh's way as he directs the program tonight, sick and voiceless.

I am feeling OK. We have both not been sleeping well--Josh because he's sick, and me because Josh is coughing so much. I'm going on 3 nights of no sleep, so I'm feeling a bit spacey right now. I don't want to jinx it by talking about it, but if I don't get sick, I will have my theories why I escaped it.

curses, curtains, & chaps

2008-11-25T13:57:00.005-07:00

It's been a while since the last post. It's all good news in this one.

First of all, the curse of the Incomplete paper has finally been lifted. This is where I spent most of last Saturday, in the fabulous public library here: It did the job, as I tied up the last few loose ends and sent it off to the professor. It was almost 2 years ago that I was in that class. It was near the end of the semester, which is always a stressful time, and I had 2 seminar papers to write, plus a wedding to pull off a week later. I finished one paper, then felt totally overwhelmed and near an emotional breakdown. I pathetically asked for an Incomplete on the second paper. At the time, it was a lifesaver, but soon after that the Incomplete just became a BIG dark cloud hanging over my head, as Incompletes always do.

I could go on and on about how guilty I feel that it took me so long to finish the damn thing, but I won't. I've done that to myself, internally, for a long, long time, so I just want to stop with that. It's finished!!!! I can finally move on to my exams. I feel such incredible relief, it's pretty impossible to describe.

*

And curtains. Several weeks ago, a package came in the mail from my mom. In it were our custom-made curtains! It's sure nice to have a mom who sews. And they are the exact colour that I wanted. Thanks Mom! Here they are in the day time:

And at night:

Last of all, I recently found out that my chapbook has been accepted for publication some time next year. It's with Dancing Girl Press, a small press in Chicago. I'm excited, and it'll feel good to have a good part of my dissertation already published.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Josh's mom and her husband will be visiting us for the holiday. We're excited to have family visit again. I was a little nervous about doing a turkey since I've never done one before. But then I found out my mother-in-law hasn't done one either, so it's going to be a fun adventure that we're going to have. I'll let you know how it turns out.

2008-11-11T08:52:00.001-07:00

Yellowstone

2008-11-02T20:20:00.007-07:00

At the last minute, we decided to drive down to Yellowstone yesterday. Good timing too, since it's closing after this weekend for the winter. What an amazing place! I felt like we were racing through it because we had limited time before it got dark. We probably only saw about 10% of it--we're definitely going back when it opens next year.

Driving in, at the West Entrace:
I didn't know that the ground was so... steamy! There was steam billowing up all over the place in the park: It almost felt like the set of a science fiction movie:

Steamy, bubbling pits in the ground:

We saw some animals, but nothing spectacular. These are some lady mooses, I think:

Coyote? Wolf? Coyote, I think:

We had to see Old Faithful, of course:

We turned a corner, and what did we see?

This buffalo was in no rush!

It's getting dark, and we had to leave, even though there was so much left to see:

It's not snow; it's sulphur, maybe? It looked salty.

It was dark by the time we left through the North Entrace. That was disappointing because the mountains were even more spectacular there than in the southwestern part of the park. We drove through Mammoth Hot Springs, and it was just a little after dusk and it was like a whole herd of elk had taken over the little village! There must have been at least 50 of them all over the street and grass. We rolled down the windows as we drove through, and we could hear their schreeching calls all around us.

We left the park, ate some greasy pizza in Gardiner, and were home in an hour.

Maestro Josh

2008-10-29T08:52:00.004-06:00

The long-awaited event finally came last night: Josh's first concert. He was so nervous (and so was I!), but everything went very smoothly. The choirs sounded good, and there were some very beautiful moments. There were a lot of compliments afterwards, and I would say the whole thing was a success! (Josh was very quick to point out all the things that weren't quite perfect, so I said he wasn't allowed to do that anymore, at least not last night, not right after a successful concert!)

I did take the camera, and I even started taking a video, but then the battery died. Boo! So I only have a couple of pictures, and then maybe a short video at the end, if it loads.

Josh in his fancy tux:

He looked like a natural up there, with all the various groups. Several people told me how calm he looked while conducting, and I would have to agree. So proud of him!

And here's the video. It's the Men's Chorus singing a funny song, but it cuts off in the middle of the song because the camera died. :(

let's go for a walk

2008-10-22T10:05:00.004-06:00

We recently found a path less than two blocks from our apartment that is at least a couple of miles long. I went out on it again yesterday, and this time brought the camera.
As you can see, yes, we do live near some train tracks. But it's not too loud.

So lots of pictures but very few words. Sorry for the overload of photos that probably all look the same (?), but I find the mountains almost magical. And I don't really feel like writing much today.

bozeman bits & pieces

2008-10-15T12:15:00.003-06:00

Hi! The weather is back to beautiful after our weekend-long snowstorm. In fact, most of the snow has melted, except for on the mountains, which look quite stunning now.

I feel a bit scattered right now (bits & pieces). Josh will be home in a little while, and then we will be on the road to Great Falls, which is about 3 hours north of us. Josh has a music educator's conference, and I will tag along so I don't get lonely! Plus, I love going on trips, and my work is portable. It will be like a working vacation.

I did a lot of grading yesterday. I was telling Josh how I went to Border's and graded essays for 6 hours straight. "I didn't even stand up once!" I said triumphantly. I thought he would be so proud of me, but instead I think he was a little bit horrified.

So after the grading marathon yesterday, I've been spending today getting ready for our trip: doing a lot of laundry, some dishes, and baking some bread:

See? Doesn't it look delicious? It is! And so easy!

One of the best parts of being done with classes, I've discovered, is having the time (and the desire!) to read for fun again. You'd think I went into English because I love to read, right? And I used to. But there is something about taking English graduate courses that... kind of kills that love. But now it's back! I'm reading In Cold Blood now, finally.

Here's a Bozeman story for you. Quite often we see homeless people standing by busy intersections or entraces to stores like Wal-Mart, holding up cardboard signs that ask for money. Last weekend, in the middle of the snow, we drove by two people holding signs. One of them had a snowboard on her back. She held a sign that said, "Got food and a job. Need lift ticket."

I'm thinking of standing in an intersection with a sign that says, "Got food, a home, a husband, a job--please pay my student loans???!!!"

I did it

2008-10-10T09:47:00.004-06:00

Did what? Turned on the heat this morning. I didn't want to do it until the end of October, but this is what we woke up to this morning, and my hands were icy cold:

Whoa, it's snowing! I think we had fall for less than two weeks, and there are still leaves on trees. A couple of days ago, temps were in the high 70's. And now we're told to expect this storm to last all weekend.

I was hoping we could get down to Yellowstone this weekend, but it looks like we'll be hibernating instead!

2008-10-08T09:13:00.003-06:00

Hmm. It's Wednesday? I guess so.

We had a really fun weekend--my parents drove out to spend a couple of days visiting us. They just wanted to see our normal life here, so we didn't worry too much about doing extraordinary and entertaining things. The weekend included normal things like grocery shopping, poking around downtown, cooking, lots of talking and discussing.

We also went to the fabric store to get fabric for curtains for our living room window. Mom offered to sew the curtains! We went to a Spanish tapas restaurant--delicious. We also got a leisurely hike in up at Bridger Bowl. It was great to be in the mountain air. (and I can't believe we didn't get any pictures of our visitors!)

It was a fun and relaxing weekend. Thanks for visiting, Mom and Dad!

Who's next?

Critical Condition

2008-10-01T11:38:00.005-06:00

We caught part of a documentary on PBS last night called "Critical Condition." I really recommend that people watch it--you can see it here: http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2008/criticalcondition/fullfilm.html

If anyone doubts that the US fails miserably in its health care for citizens, then this film will persuade you. Some of the stories and statistics given were just astonishing. For example, 80% of uninsured Americans are part of working families. That dispels the myth a lot of people have that one can receive health insurance by working hard and "earning" it--and that those who don't have health insurance are simply lazy.

It would cost less for the US to insure all its citizens than it currently costs to deal with those who are sick and uninsured.

Those who are diagnosed with cancer and are uninsured are twice as likely to die within 5 years as those with cancer who are insured.

Watching the film was sickening. In my opinion, it is totally unethical that the government and insurance companies allow American citizens to be treated this way, especially in a "developed" country.

is the weekend over? really?

2008-09-28T21:51:00.008-06:00

I think Josh and I agree that weekends are the funnest, no matter what ends up happening. This weekend, Josh became obsessed with building an "antenna" to see if we could pick up more stations than just PBS (which, really, is good enough for us--we don't want to spend the money or time on cable--but once in a while it would be nice to pick up some of the other larger network stations). So here is Josh with his antenna: Isn't the internet wonderful thing? Apparently the instructions for this antenna also included some comments along the lines of: "wives might not be happy with the antenna's eyesore factor." I can't say I'm one of those wives, but the antenna was not so amazing as was promised.

I made another pizza. Green Pizza--chicken pesto. It wasn't as good as I'd hoped. Perhaps the frozen dough doesn't work so well?
A couple of weeks ago we tried finding Hyalite Reservoir and instead ended up driving towards Yellowstone. Well, this weekend we found it. To my delight, but also dismay, the leaves are starting to change colour. I guess it is fall, after all...

We found it!

We took a picnic along and ate in the sun along the water's shore.

All good picnics must include chocolate:

Afterwards, Josh took a nice nap in the sun and I read my (fun) book.
We live in a pretty dry area; the water looks quite receded:

What is it??!

Unfortunately, all weekends must come to an end. Also unfortunate is that I came down with the sore throat that Josh had last weekend. :(

what I did on my weekend

2008-09-14T22:17:00.006-06:00

*** went to Pita Pit for supper with Josh and remembered how much I love baba ganouj.
*** thought about making baba ganouj myself, then decided not to.
*** watched Bill Moyer's journal on PBS.
*** was relieved to discover factcheck.org. After becoming obsessed with the presidential race and watching every single speech for both the Democratic and Republican conventions, I was getting very crabby and disillusioned with the attack ads both sides are engaged in. I hate it when those ads spout ridiculous things and pass it off as the truth. DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING you see unless you verify the facts! (McCain's ads have been more ridiculous and sleazy than Obama's, but they are both guilty.)
***worked on my CV: ***read some great poetry:
***walked to the public library (my office away from home, lately) because they have a really great DVD collection--what is better than getting to watch films for FREE?
*** some general silliness, as all weekends seem to have. Here Josh is playing air guitar--he made sure I would say it was to Warren Zevon (???). We also howled along to "Werewolves in London":
*** wow, some heavy-duty cleaning too. I did most of the apartment, but Josh tackled the bathroom. I think he spent a total of 6 hours on it, with a toothbrush! (and no, I did not encourage that level of cleaning, but I guess he was on a mission):

I am more sane with the vacuum cleaner:
*** I made pizza. I made a bunch of pizza dough, meaning to freeze most of it, so we could have it later. I guess the dough was still rising, because I opened the freezer an hour after I put several bags in there, and one of the bags had exploded! But the pizza was good:
*** Josh changed the oil in the car.

*** we talked to all of our parents.

*** I spent way too long looking at Wee Houses, trying to suppress my covetous feelings.

*** we tried to find Hyalite Reservoir, a place recommended to us for some great hiking. We must have missed a turn somewhere, because we found ourselves on the road down to Yellowstone:

*** we took it for a while, then turned around by Big Sky, another big ski resort:
*** stopped by a nice, cool stream:
*** cuddly hubby:

*** the weekend was too short.

2008-09-11T08:34:00.003-06:00

I think it's funny that a student who is taking my online class and lives in South Dakota asked if we could meet to go over some things about the course.
Sure! If you want to drive all the way out to Montana, I'd be happy to meet with you!

phew!

2008-08-30T21:47:00.006-06:00

For those who are wondering how Josh's first week of teaching went--well, he survived! I think the first week was good in a lot of ways. He has a better feel for what it means to teach, what kids are like, what he needs to do in order to feel prepared. I was quite surprised when the low point of the week was finding out that the 3rd graders were little terrors... But I think he's devised a system to put them in their place. :) For my part, I've enjoyed hearing the stories, like the little kindergarten girl who just had to "give him five" when passing in the hallway. Josh is so tall that it's funny to imagine him bending over to give a little girl "five." I expect that things will get even better as he feels more experienced. We'll give it a year and see if being a teacher is his calling.

Anyway, we are relaxing and celebrating a bit this weekend. After all, Monday is Labour Day, so we'll do all our labouring on Monday. :)

better or worse

2008-08-25T09:07:00.003-06:00

I don't know what's harder: being the one who is nervous to start a new year of teaching and meeting new students OR being the spouse of the one who is nervous to start teaching. I'm sure it's the former, but this morning when Josh left for his first day, it felt like the latter.

virginia is for lovers

2008-08-13T15:31:00.007-06:00

We got back from Virginia a couple of days ago. It was strange to come "home" to Bozeman. Strange, but so, so good. We were in Virginia for my brother John's wedding, and it was a bit of a blur with lots going on. I have a bunch of photos that I'll just post--fair warning.

The moms are frantically sewing and altering clothes the day before the wedding:
The wedding and the rest of the weekend occured at an old plantation house. The ceremony was outside and it was beautiful. Here's the setup:
Here I am in the middle of the mayhem before the rehearsal. Do I look overwhelmed?

After the rehearsal, and cousin Reuben and I are having a heart-to-heart: Sister Margaret and I; we were both bridesmaids:
Me and Josh:
The happy but nervous groom:

The whole, now-complete family. All the Den Boer siblings got married within 20 months of each other. It's been a crazy time, and I'm happy the weddings are all done now:

Our table at the reception. We had to make an "architectural structure." Our table did not win.

Other brother Daniel was the best man and gave the toast. Sorry it's so dark, but it was really nice being outside with all the lights: Josh is, umm... doing a little dance?
Daniel and Autumn. Why do you look so worried?

On the last day, we went to the beach for a while. John and Bethany's condo is just a couple steps from the beach--nice.
All the Den Boer siblings and their attachments: What is that crab claw doing on Mom's sandal??

Dad, Mom, Aunt Cheryl, and John. I'm sure Mom and Dad are breathing a sigh of relief now that we're all married off:
Me and Josh again:

Now back to real life.

we made it

2008-08-04T15:19:00.002-06:00

It was an uneventul trip out to Montana. I didn't even get any pictures, except when we loaded up the truck the morning we left:
We love it here so far. Our apartment is nothing to be excited about, of course, but we'll make it work. We're a short walk from downtown, and we've already enjoyed several different coffeeshops and restaurants on Main St.

The weather is phenomenally perfect! Everyone keeps saying, it's so hot here right now. But we're loving it--no humidity. We don't have air conditioning in our apartment, and even with temps in the low 90's, it's not a problem at all. I've been sleeping really well, and that's quite an accomplishment for me.

We went for more than a week without phone or internet. Now we're finally hooked up again. We still have a long ways to go with organizing and setting up out apartment. I'll post more pics when we've made better progress. Josh is getting nervous to teach, which is understandable.

For now, I'll leave you with a couple more photos from around here. We spent a lot of the past weekend at an arts festival, but we also managed to drive up to Bridger Bowl, one of the big downhill skiing resorts in the area (also lots of camping and hiking). So, just 15 minutes outside of town, this is the view:

We're off to Virginia on Thursday for my brother's wedding. More when we return.

this is how we're living...

2008-07-22T18:37:00.005-06:00

...right now. I'm very tired and losing my momentum a bit. But we're doing OK--definitely making some good progress and downsizing our possessions. Tomorrow we pick up the truck and load it up (with much-appreciated help, of course!). Then the next day it's off to Bozeman. I'm getting more and more excited every day, and feeling ready to unpack and live like a normal person again.

This past weekend we said most of our good-byes to many different people and did lots of driving. We drove our last drive from Vermillion to Sioux Center and back again! I will not miss that hour drive at all. On Saturday after we saw Josh's grandma and dad, we were off to Sioux Falls to go out for dinner with my parents and brother and sister-in-law. On our way, we got stuck in a huge storm: It was pretty scary. This wasn't a normal thunderstorm or downpour. It felt creepy out (it was only the middle of the afternoon). When I saw all the crops on either side of the road bending in one direction from the wind, and the low-level clouds above us moving in the complete opposite direction, I started to feel sick to my stomach. Of course, we were out in the middle of nowhere, but we stopped at the first gas station. Lots of other drivers were there, and we watched the weather on the TV and saw that we were in the middle of a tornado warning. So we stayed there for a while, then we were back on the road. Just one more thing I'm looking forward to in Bozeman--no tornados.

The next time I write, it will probably be from Bozeman!

nooooooooooooooooo!!....!!!!!...!!!...!....

2008-07-07T10:51:00.002-06:00

all is quiet

2008-07-04T13:37:00.004-06:00

I am trying to savour this day since it's so quiet. All summer there have been 4 new apartment buildings going up next to us. That means banging, digging, dumping, shoving, yelling, cursing, smashing, peeing, belching, spraying, pounding, etc. going on for about 10 hours every day. Not to mention the fragrant port-a-potty they stationed right outside our kitchen window. But today is the 4th of July, and no construction is going on, and it's blissfully quiet!

Not that I'm complaining too much since we are moving to Montana in less than 3 weeks. We reserved a truck earlier this week. It's becoming more real.

Speaking of quiet, the other night Josh and I were going for a walk and we passed the drugstore down the street and there were several police cars with flashing lights in the parking lot. Of course, I was very curious to know what was going on... I checked the news the next day, and apparently there was a couple from Arkansas who decided to try an armed robbery of the drugstore.

So that's pretty fun.

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T16:23:00.006-06:00

That's right--it's Canada's birthday today.

I'm mostly spending the day trying to recover from the weekend. The biggest thing was little brother Daniel's wedding, of course, which brought many out-of-town visitors. But we also met up with other friends, said a difficult good-bye to the Bakkers, and had a very busy time that left us exhausted.

The wedding was beautiful though. Here are some photos of the day. This is the only one I have of Daniel and Autumn, the happy couple, and it's not even a very good one:

Me and Josh. Isn't he handsome? Ha ha--I got one of Scott and MArgaret making out!

Autumn and the rest of her siblings play a musical number:
Mom and Dad telling some funny stories about Daniel:

Me and Josh again. He sang very nicely at the wedding.

Here's the immediate family during pictures. What you can't see is that it's pouring rain! Stressful (the wedding was outside--thankfully the weather cleared just in time)
Crazy cousin Reuben. What can I say? He's from Canada.

people coming, people going

2008-06-19T17:51:00.003-06:00

Hi! We're in the middle of another thunderstorm--lots of rain and wind. Again. But I'm not complaining because a) I love rain, and b) we're not flooded like a lot of poor souls in Iowa and beyond. Josh just called and said he'll be home in an hour. I hope his drive isn't too bad--a lot of the IA/SD county roads can be treacherous in the rain...

Still working on feeling calm and less anxious. There are so many changes happening this summer. All of my siblings are either moving or getting married at some point this summer (or both), including us. Little brother is getting married next week! And the Bakkers are moving SOON. It feels like it's all too much to take in at once.

Right now I'm working on my last paper--an incomplete from the semester before getting married. It's kind of weird to revisit a text and topic 1 1/2 years later. And tomorrow I have my first meeting with my committee over my first reading list for my exams. Nervous!!!!

Anyway, my mind is all over the place lately.

stuff and anxiety

2008-06-03T16:01:00.007-06:00

Even though it's summer, I'm really struggling with calming down and feeling relaxed. There's still so many things that need to get done in the next while, and contrary to those things people say about women being good multi-taskers, I'm just not one of those women. I've been clenching my jaw a lot lately too, which is making one side of my face hurt.

But it will be OK! Things will work out. In good news, I got to vote today. Even though we're last in the nation, it felt great to feel like my vote was important.

As promised, here are some photos of our day at the Omaha zoo. Who can resist a peacock? Josh took this next series of 2 photos--I believe he called it "Mother and Child."

Here's the fun Bakker family. We had a great time!
Josh is trying to figure out how to hold a baby:
He liked this way better:

A sting ray swimming right over top of us:

And jellyfish are always the best:

Taeda was lots of fun--I think he enjoyed running around down hallways in circles more than the animals. So much energy!

* * * * *

Josh is trying to get in the kid mindset, in preparation for teaching. If you saw the back of him, you'd see his shorts hanging off his butt, like so many of my own students always did.

we're home--transition time

2008-05-27T17:19:00.006-06:00

Before I was even finished grading my students' exams and papers, we were on the road out west (I finished the grading in the car and entered the grades in at our hotel). We headed to Bozeman to scout out some housing for next year.

Here are some pictures of the trip, although somewhat lacking in the appearance of human beings. This is the first spot we stopped in western South Dakota:

Western South Dakota means that we are starting to see some hills! Even just little ones:

Once we're past Billings, we start to see.... are those mountains??!

They are!

I don't have any good pictures of Bozeman, but here's the view. Bozeman is in a valley, so the town itself is flat, but surrounded on 3 sides by mountains.

Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to want to live in Bozeman. Finding housing was both stressful and disappointing. We don't have the money to get what we really wanted. We had to lower our standards. We even looked at this place, but decided our mothers would have a heart attack...

We finally settled on a small, older, 2-bedroom apartment. But in a great part of town with a view of the mountains out the living room window. It will work. Here it is:

More mountains... We couldn't get enough of them.

Rain followed us all the way home, and occasionally it felt like we were in a movie:

We're back in South Dakota. Can you tell?

We're excited to move later this summer--Bozeman seems like a great little city with a lot going on. Before then, though, there are some huge tasks to tackle, and I should start working on those. But now it's the first time that I'm actually taking a deep breath since the end of the semester, so I want to enjoy this a little longer--it's hardly sunk in that the semester is actually over! Soon enough will come the weird time when I feel guilty for not following a stressful school schedule. Balance is hard, you know?

Coming soon, pictures from the zoo with the Bakkers.

just barely hanging on...

2008-05-08T16:35:00.008-06:00

...like this bat, who hung outside our front door for a good 24 hours. He was such a little, quiet thing. I hope he was OK.

Anyway, it's time to get rid of that jubilant face from the last post, because that feeling didn't last very long. I hope it comes again, though, once I finish my paper and the grading. I just finished taking an exam. My brain is empty.

I haven't taken a shower in 3 days. Or really slept. So much to do yet.

Here's a picture from a couple of days ago, after a big storm came through the area. There were two rainbows!

Today when I was working, I looked out the window at those construction guys (all the walls are up now, so the picture above is not very accurate even though it's only 2 days old). One of the guys was wearing a shirt that said, "Free Mammograms." On the back it said, "Courtesy of the SDSU Rugby Team."

How... charming??

LAST! CLASS! EVER!!!!!!

2008-05-02T07:57:00.009-06:00

This is me--HAPPY! I just returned from my last!!! class!!! ever!!! Turned in the final assignment and said Ciao!

Honestly, I didn't know if this day would ever come, but it's finally here. I never have to take another class again if I don't want to. Oh, things are far from over yet, but I still feel like a huge milestone has been reached. In the short-term future, I have a 20-25 page paper due next week, a final exam to write, and lots and lots and lots of grading.

In just a little bit, my mom will pick me up and we'll get on the plane for Chicago. She has to attend a workshop in Chicago, and she wanted company/driver/someone who knows Chicago along. It will actually work out well because I'll just shut myself up in the hotel room and work on that paper. Hoping the lack of distractions will make me more productive than I would be at home. I hope Josh survives as a bachelor for the weekend. :)

Here's to 22 years of almost-continuous school--cheers!

2008-04-22T05:40:00.002-06:00

To bed at 1:00 a.m. and up again at 4:00 a.m. It must be the dreaded end-of-the-semester time.

changing

2008-04-11T11:06:00.002-06:00

In my last post, I lamented about the snow. But the real point of this is how much things can change in less than 2 weeks. If you go down to the second photo from my last post, you will see how things looked out of the window of our study. Less than two weeks later, this is how it looks:

Yes, apparently they are putting more buildings up next to us. Like, right next to us. I'm so glad we'll be moving soon. These things go really fast, lots of commotion.

And now, more weather stuff. The hazardous winter storm they kept predicting didn't produce any snow for us, just lots and lots of rain. And wind. It's so windy out right now that when I looked out the window, I saw a garbage can impaled on a tree. Look closely.

I am purposely avoiding talking about school because I have really been struggling lately.

are you serious???

2008-03-31T06:57:00.002-06:00

This is what we wake up to this morning. I am ready to cry.

go west, young man!

2008-03-13T16:12:00.013-06:00

Well, here it is! Josh was offered a job teaching K-12 music in Montana! We've been sitting on the news for about a week, but I don't think we can think of any reasons why he wouldn't take it. So, we're about 95% sure we're moving to Bozeman, Montana this summer!

I'm a whole bunch of emotions at once: excited, thrilled, relieved, nervous, exhilarated, ecstatic... mostly excited. I've been so busy with school lately that I haven't even had much time to really digest the reality of it. But now it's starting to sink in. Mountains, how I have missed you.... we will soon be reunited.

And it's like the whole universe is working for us right now. It's an unbelievably gorgeous spring day (much-needed), and just one day until Spring Break. It's so close, I can practically taste it....

waiting...

2008-03-07T13:17:00.004-07:00

...for spring. This morning it was -9 (F). At least the sun is shining. It feels like this has been a very long and cold winter, and it's starting to take its toll. I've resorted to doing ridiculous things like buying exotic colourful plants and cottage/country living magazines. (What?)

...for this last semester of coursework to be over. Do you think it's OK that after 18 years of almost non-stop school, I have a severe case of senioritis? I'm really ready to be done, but I need to keep pushing forward to the end.

...to find out where we will be living next year. Josh has a couple of different possibilities in the works (teaching music) and now it's time to wait to see which ones, if any, offer him a position. It makes me very anxious.

...for my brain to tell me I should get back to working on that paper that's due today... right?

it's a leap year!

2008-02-29T16:22:00.006-07:00

Leap Leap, like a frog! I wanted to get a post in on February 29th, since it happens so rarely.

Other than that, not much to report except that the sun shone and some snow melted today!

I wonder what I was doing four years ago today, last time Feb. 29th rolled around... Finishing up my last semester of my MA in Chicago, walking to class every day, reading Beowulf in Old English, working on my thesis, hanging out downtown, walking by the lake, wondering what I would do with my life. I miss some things about that time. Other things I don't miss at all.

the weather's NOT frightful...today

2008-02-22T13:12:00.008-07:00

It's been a long time since my last post! I guess that's OK, since the title of my last post pretty much sums up life right now. Winter has gotten soooo old--bitterly cold and winds that make my eyes stream with tears. ALL I want is to be able to walk to class again, just to be able to walk outside without getting frostbite or breaking my tailbone.

But it's nice out today, and the sun is shining. Also, it's Friday and it's been a long week: 40+ conferences with my students and grading essays and reading 500-page novels, etc. Now we can celebrate the weekend.

Let's back up to Valentine's Day. It didn't start out well because the first thing I saw was a daddy-long-legs spider in our bathroom. What?? Aren't they all dead or sleeping? Don't they usually come out in the spring? Hmm... Here he is (or, was, I should say):

Then the next thing I did on Valentine's Day was look outside, only to see the wind whipping around and more snow coming down. I immediately shut the blinds again:

But the rest of the day was good. I made little sayings out of chocolate that I left in strategic spots in the apartment for Josh. Plus I made a nice dinner and little mini-cheesecakes that we had with wine, and it was just a pleasant evening. Low-key. Chocolate!:

That's all for Valentine's Day. On to weather again. Whenever it's a little bit nice out, I make Josh go with me somewhere. Last Friday we went down to the Missouri River, drove around on some out-of-the-way roads. Here is Josh, holding up the Missouri River bridge:
And I guess for some people it's just normal to store cranes on their property. It was pretty rusty though:

That's all. Josh is working on another secret right now. He's been full of fun little secrets lately. This secret has to do with Valentine's Day, even though it was last week. I think it might be something like a treasure hunt. :)

the weather outside...

2008-01-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

...is frightful. The balmy, sunny weather we had this past weekend was a cruel joke. Last night, the wind blustered and knocked things around all night. This morning, it was back to being frigidly cold. Spring?? Hello? where are you?..... (I know it's only January, but still.)

Cold weather calls for cold-weather soup. Margo asked me a while back to post the recipe for the pumpkin soup I made, so here it is:

Chipotle Pumpkin Black Bean Soup

2 teaspoons olive oil
one large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 chipotle chile in adobo sauce, finely chopped; 1 tablespoon adobo sauce reserved
1 bottle dark beer
1 can pure pumpkin puree (15 oz.)
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 pinches ground cinnamon
salt and pepper
3 cups chicken broth
1 can black beans, drained (15 oz.)

In a soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic and chipotle with one tablespoon reserved adobo sauce and cook, stirring, for five minutes. Add the beer and cook until reduced by half, about three minutes. Stir in the pumpkin, cumin, cinnamon and salt and pepper, to taste. Stir in the chicken broth and beans and simmer for 10 minutes.

Modifications I would make for next time: LESS CHIPOTLE!! VERY SPICY! I would probably use only half a chipotle and no adobo sauce, or maybe just the adobo sauce. I would also consider using less chicken broth (for a thicker consistency) and more than 1 can of black beans (but I love black beans, plus they're great protein and fiber). You can probably substitute the beer with chicken broth, if you'd rather not use beer.

Garnishes: tortilla chips? cranberry sauce? lime juice/wedges? apple slices? cilantro? my favourite was yogurt

Enjoy!

our trip--happy anniversary

2008-01-19T11:44:00.001-07:00

I promised to talk about our anniversary trip when we returned, and it's already been almost a week since we've been back. It's been so busy with the beginning of the semester that I haven't had a chance to upload all these pictures.

We went to Chicago for a weekend and it was great! This time we stayed mostly around the Loop and north side. We stayed in a nice hotel just one block off of Michigan Ave. It had a kitchen and living room and everything, so that was very convenient.

The first day we wandered downtown and I finally got to see the new additions to Millenium Park, including the funny reflective bean. It's huge!:
This is a picture of our reflection in the bean. It started getting really complicated, figuring out what was real and what was reflection:

We went to a stained glass museum. Very impressive. My favourite were ones of landscapes (or cityscapes):

So yes, we did go to Navy Pier. Touristy, yes, but Josh wanted to see the lake and it actually was very nice out there--very desolate and empty.

We went to an amazing concert of the Chicago Symphony one evening. They joined up with the Hubbard Street Dancers, and the time flew by. I was disappointed when it was over. It was very pretty out on our way back from there. Chicago is nice at night:
After the symphony we went to the Cheesecake Factory: (did we see a certain Artichoke Heart striding past the Cheesecake Factory about 11:30 p.m. last Friday night??)
On Saturday we went to the aquarium. I love aquariums, but ugh, let's never go on a Saturday again. So busy. But here were our favourites. I love penguins!:
A beluga whale. She kept swimming around and brushing up against the glass every time:
Dolphins frolicking:
I love jellyfish too--so exquisite:
Shark!: More jellyfish. I forget the name of these, but they were reverse jellyfish, or upside-down jellyfish:
Spider crab. Don't want to get in the way of one of these! He was bigger than my head:
The view from our hotel. We were on the 12th floor, and it was fun being nosey and looking in other peoples' windows. Some fancy places in that area:
And that was our trip. Once again, very nice to get away and forget about everything except having fun together. I recommend it for everyone.

pumpkin soup and poetry

2008-01-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

I made a very tasty pumpkin black bean chipotle soup the other day. However, the recipe was a little heavy on the chipotle! I can tolerate spicy food pretty well, but even I had to dilute the heat with some yogurt. Nevertheless, definitely worth making again because it's a very pretty orange colour AND healthy AND delicious:

*****

In poetry news, it's fun to be part of the inaugural issue of Blossombones.

Also, every time I'm at the Barnes & Noble in Sioux City, I check out The Briar Cliff Review since it's a very handsome literary journal. So imagine my delight to find out recently that they've accepted one of my poems for publication in their spring issue! This will be my first print publication, so I'm excited about that.

*****

Josh and I are going away on a little 1st anniversary trip this weekend, leaving tomorrow. We're looking forward to it immensely, and I'll update when we return.

Christmas round-up

2008-01-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

Christmas came and went. I've been able to relax and unwind from the stress of the semester. We had several wonderful celebrations in a very short amount of time: Christmas with different families, Josh and my first anniversary (we're going on a short trip next week to celebrate--more on that later--I can't believe it's been a year! I love Josh more than ever!), New Year's Eve, several birthdays (my dad's, mom's, and mine on Jan. 2nd). I think that's about it! It's time for some quiet now before the next semester begins, all too soon.

Christmas break definitely felt like it was over when I checked my school e-mail this morning after a week hiatus. All the peace and serenity of completely blocking school and teaching out of my mind just went *poof!* as I read a couple of angry e-mails from students about their grades. I don't know why I let it bother me, but it makes me anxious and I know that my Christmas break days of tranquil sleep are over.

Here is some of the break in pictures. The first is a snowy road on the drive from northwest Iowa to our home in Vermillion. We did a lot of driving during the break, and sometimes it was on treacherous roads. We spent a weekend up in northern Minnesota at my uncle and aunt's nice new house on a lake. A lot of my dad's side of the family was there, and it was peaceful and fun. Here's an uncle, Kelvin, pulling a move.
Here's his twin, Kevin, pretending to act useful in the (very nice) kitchen.
Their house was really nice--kind of like a Swiss chalet type house. Here's a view down into the dining area from the loft.
Josh loved being in the kitchen there. And looking handsome.

Me and Grandpa.
Dad took some grading along and he actually worked on it!
After the Den Boer gathering in Minnesota, we headed down to other family. We spent Christmas Eve at Josh's mom's house. Here we're celebrating with part of Josh's mom's family. Below are Josh's grandma, his sister, and our cousin-in-law (?).

On Christmas Day we had dinner with Josh's dad's side of the family (no pictures--sorry) and then another dinner with my parents.

After that we were home in Vermillion for only a couple of days. Then it was back to Sioux Center, Iowa, to have family dinner with Josh's sister and her boyfriend (no pictures of that--sorry). Then it was back Sioux Center again, this time to my parent's house. We spent a long weekend here, over New Year's too. All the sibling were home, with their various romantic attachments. It was fun and a very full house! Here is brother John with his attachment, Bethany. We'd never met her before. Us kids gave my parents a new TV. Their old one was 20 years old, so we thought it was time.
The men are trying to figure out all the TV's complexities.
Little sister Margo is tired out.

And that was Christmas/New Year's/anniversary/birthday(s) 2007. It's definitely time for some quiet time. One more exciting thing! Josh is quitting smoking. He's on day 6 now, and it's going remarkably well. I'm so proud of him!

update

2007-12-20T21:33:00.000-07:00

Progress has been made this week. Since Monday I have:

written a 7-page "essay" about poetics
given a presentation
written a 23-page paper on Sylvia Plath and how she "wrote the body" (using theories of the French feminists mainly)
revised all my poems for my portfolio
written a 13-page paper discussing my revisions in the portfolio

What's left?

grade 44 final exams
grade 44 10-page final papers
calculate and submit final grades

The end is in sight. I don't even know what it will feel like to wake up on Saturday and not feel anxious or guilty for not doing schoolwork--it will be such a foreign concept. Happy Holidays!

checking in

2007-12-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

I had the whole week planned out, hour-by-hour, and then the universe taught me a lesson about trying to be in control all the time. I woke up last Thursday with what felt like a cold. It got progressively worse, and on Friday, the last day of classes, I could only stand in front of my students for 15 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. So I dismissed class early ("We never get out early!" one of them said).

So I'm not sure what I have because it feels like more than a cold. On Friday and Saturday I was shivering off and on, and every time I stood up I felt dizzy. It's like that feeling you get when you know you're approaching fainting--cold and hot at the same time, dizzy, the world is rocking back and forth and feels far away. So I spent a lot of the weekend in bed and on the couch.

OK, so it's Monday and it's finals week. I have a couple of papers to write, a portfolio to finish, final papers to grade, final exams to grade, etc. I feel a bit better, although my throat still hurts and my ears are still plugged (so I'm deaf) and I keep trying to cough something out of my chest. And of course I'm panicking because I have so much to do. Onward and upward!

winter is here

2007-12-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

It arrived this weekend. I was/am ambivalent to its arrival. I spent the whole weekend grading papers and doing other teaching-related stuff. I was in my office all day Saturday, and this was the view:

That's pretty different than the summer view from my desk (taken about 6 months ago):

The semester is starting to wind down, but it's first going to wind UP a lot before it winds down. I won't say more than that. But I'm looking forward to the Christmas break.

To add to the fun, my parents are moving next weekend!

And now another aunt has cancer and, well, cancer really scares me.

new poem...

2007-11-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

...up at Siren. Actually, it's kind of an old-ish one, but the editor had
meningitis so the issue got delayed, etc. This one is a bit of an homage to Leonard Cohen. I do owe a lot to him--he was my inspiration starting in high school already. The schoolgirl crush has dissipated a bit, but I still admire the man and his work.

what to say?

2007-11-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

I don't think I actually have anything to write about. I guess I'm just writing on here out of a sense of duty. It's Sunday night, and another week is about to begin. I don't want it to.

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I think about odd things. This morning I remembered something that still makes me mad to this day. In high school, I had to take home ec. (did I really? was I forced to or was it voluntary?). We were assigned groups, and I ended up in a group with this really free-spirited girl from Quebec, Isabelle. Now, Isabelle did not know that recipes had directions on them for a reason. She burned everything, she pulled chicken from the oven when it was raw, she dumped in the wrong proportions of the wrong ingredients all the time. Every time we had to make something, she ruined it. It was so stressful in the kitchen with her because I had to keep my eyes fixed on her non-stop, and yet she always managed to sneak some kind of huge mistake past me that always ended in disaster. The home ec. teacher was entirely merciless. I even tried explaining the situation to her in private, and she would not listen. She said we were a group and it was our responsibility to keep each other in line. It was so unfair. I got a C in home ec, and that's the only C I ever received in school. Infuriating. It took me 10 years to stop pretending that I hated cooking. After all, I got a C in home ec! Obviously I couldn't cook. I've gotten over that and now I love cooking. But I still curse Isabelle.

That's the story for today. At least I learned something from it: I'll never grade my students the way my home ec. teacher graded me (one grade for the whole group).

On the other hand, some times I get as frustrated at my own students as I did with Isabelle. But I won't go into that, of course. In both cases, I feel/felt like a babysitter.

I'm going to bed now. The garbage truck always comes at 3:30 in the morning on Sunday nights. The huge dumpster is right outside our bedroom window and the garbage truck comes and shakes and rattles the dumpster around for a good 30 seconds or so (which is long, in real life). So as a light sleeper, I'm guaranteed an interrupted night of sleep every Sunday night. Have a nice week, everyone.

sicko

2007-11-06T15:24:00.001-07:00

Here is Winnipeg in all its glory. A cold walk along the river on a Saturday afternoon:

We got back from Winnipeg on Sunday night. Funerals are never fun, especially when little kids are left behind. But it was good to see the whole family--all my siblings made it out and we haven't been all together since the summer. It was a short weekend though, not really enough time to pack everything in, especially when several of us were sick with colds.

I guess I passed my cold on to Josh, because Monday morning he woke up with a sore throat. I felt really guilty. I was finally feeling better on Monday because after a weekend of little sleep, I slept like a ton of bricks on Sunday night (finally!). So Monday night I made lentil stew, and then we both climbed into bed right after supper to keep warm (for some reason we were putting off using the furnace as long as possible).

Josh also took some of my cough syrup Monday night, and he fell asleep almost immediately. He also started snoring like a hibernating bear immediately. And he snored all night long. Part of me was really happy to hear him snoring because I knew that meant he was sleeping well and maybe he would feel better on Tuesday. But part of me wasn't happy because I'm a light sleeper and so I didn't sleep barely a wink all night!

This morning (Tuesday), Josh was feeling much better. But I am feeling worse again--my sore throat is back and I'm very tired.

I guess tonight it's my turn to take the cough syrup and snore like there's no tomorrow. But first I have to make some supper (salmon, bread, salad), and then go to night class.

I'll leave with a picture of a happy couple. Aren't they cute?

ugh, another week

2007-10-30T08:13:00.000-06:00

The Milton Writer's Conference was fun. So was seeing old friends/officemates. That lasted until Sunday morning, at which point the weekend turned not-fun-at-all. I have come down with a miserable cold which seems to mess up my brain functions. Also, I spent 11 hours on Sunday grading papers, while battling a miserable cold. I've had better days.

My aunt passed away this weekend from cancer. It was a bit of a shock, at least that it happened this soon. We'll be going up to Winnipeg for the funeral later this week. She was only 46.

To lighten the mood a bit, here are a couple funny things my students said yesterday:

"Do you drive the car with the bumper sticker that says 'I'd rather be reading Flannery O'Connor?'" (No! That's not me! Is it someone else in the English department?)

"This story really surprised me. I thought the theme for this unit was promiscuity. But this story was all about murder." (So we've happened to read some stories with sex/sexuality in them--Happy Endings, A & P, The Storm--but that doesn't mean the theme is promiscuity! And I never said that there was a theme for this unit in the first place, because there isn't. But I conceded that the student had a point.)

the young & the restless

2007-10-21T15:27:00.001-06:00

That's us. Josh got up this morning, saw it was back to being cloudy, and went straight back to bed. Me, I spent most of the afternoon working in my office on campus, trying to get stuff done. We went to see my little brother play the part of Florizel in Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale last night. Got home late, but it was definitely worth it! It reminded me that I haven't spent time with Shakespeare in a long while.

Now I am working on some more poetry, getting a couple of submissions ready. Josh is waxing the car. Soon we will make some pizza and watch a movie. Sounds nice, right?

Josh and I were paging through cookbooks looking for something to make for some dinner guests. This was yesterday and we were both a bit tired (which produces our silly sides). Josh started changing letters around until he sounded like Tweety Bird. So then we were reading descriptions of dishes like Tweety. Then Josh read this one out loud and I just lost it. I think I laughed for 5 minutes straight, until my stomach and throat hurt. It probably won't be as funny to you, but you need to try it. Read the following description out loud, but change all the R's and L's to W:

Jamaican Jerk Pork--this trendy entree gets its flavourful, hot zing from a rub with three spices, including cloves and red peppers.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! twendy entway!

the dog ate my homework

2007-10-15T13:41:00.000-06:00

Today I collected essays from my students. One of my students came up to me before class and said, "I'm sorry, my dog threw up on my paper. Can I get you another copy after class?" Then she showed me big blotches of dog vomit splashed all over the first page of her paper. I said, "OK, I believe you. Yes, I would like a clean copy."

It rained like B.C. all weekend long. I know it's not a popular opinion to have around here, but I loved loved loved it.

We went to see "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" this weekend. What an amazing and fascinating woman she was. Whenever I see historical movies, even if they're stylized or somewhat fictional, I always get interested in the characters as real people--their emotions, aspirations, flaws, points of weakness. Then I go and do some research on them. In the past few months I've researched Bonnie & Clyde, Sylvia Plath, the dictator of Uganda, Marie Antoinette. This time was no different. I was a little surprised that Mary Queen of Scots was portrayed so negatively though. I read a little about her too. Did you know that when she was beheaded, it took 3 swings of the axe before her head was completely chopped off? The first blow hit too high on her neck, the second one too low, and the third one couldn't get through all the gristle in her neck.

I'm sorry. That's really disgusting.

bones

2007-10-04T07:22:00.000-06:00

It's been almost 8 weeks since my leg got injured from, what I believe was, a stress fracture. I've been taking it easy since then, but I've been pretty antsy about it. All along, I've still been having weird twinges inside my leg. I thought I'd start to ease back into doing stuff so I went for a walk earlier this week. I walked pretty quickly, but I didn't think that would be too hard.

Now my leg is hurting even worse than before, and I'm getting really discouraged. I've read that stress fractures are really touchy and fickle things, and their healing time can vary a lot. I would go back to the doctor, but why? This is such a great country for medical care [oozing sarcasm], and even though we work our butts off we're not in a GEO and don't get benefits, so we can't really afford any medical services anyway. I could go for a free doctor visit, and I get one free X-ray per semester (but that doesn't include a radiologist reading the X-ray), but I already used up that free X-ray with my last visit. And clearly, getting an MRI or bone scan (which is what the doctor would probably want to do) would destroy our budget for the next year.

So whatever. I keep worrying that one day I'll look down and my bone will have broken completely and be sticking out of my skin. But more seriously, I can't stand not being able to do anything. Is this what Restless Leg Syndrome is like? I think RLS is as crazy as a country that won't give medical care to all its citizens. I wonder if there is such a thing as Restless Brain Syndrome? I probably have it.

October--really?

2007-10-01T14:45:00.000-06:00

Weekends whiz by. This one was no exception. It involved bees, blood, biryani, and birthdays.

It also involved a lot of other things. Josh arranged a picnic for us on Saturday. We went to a nice spot in Nebraska overlooking the Missouri River. But we didn't anticipate getting dive-bombed by grasshoppers, and a couple crickets. Then there were daddy-long-legs and big beetles. These were all fine. Then the bees came out. In theory, I have nothing against bees. I think they're lovely creatures who do good things. In real life, I'm scared to death of getting stung. I was very anxious and kept hopping around. We left soon after.

We did also go to see "Eastern Promises." It was such a great, great story. But the violence was hard for me to take. I think it was particularly unsettling because most movies show a brief shot of blood, then change the shot. "Eastern Promises" lingered on all of the bloodiest scenes until I felt my skin crawl. I got nostalgic for Russia and all its idiosyncratic ways.

We went to an Indian restaurant for supper. Josh had lamb biryani. I had tandoori chicken. So good!

We thought we would get a printer since the old one has decided to retire. However, Josh and I both have this tendency of getting silly when we're tired. We were in Best Buy, and we were both tired. And the huge number of options there was overwhelming so we didn't even know where to begin. Instead, we got silly and started printing out sample pages from as many printers as we could, and pressing lots of buttons. Thankfully, one of us had a brief moment of maturity and realized we needed to leave.

Sunday was Grandma Gert's 80-something birthday. A sweet lady she is. But there were a lot of relatives there. And more bees.

And a huge storm last night. I seriously thought we would get a tornado. I'm scared to death of wind too (when it's really strong). I said to Josh last night, "This weekend was full of some of my worst fears." And that's the truth.

2007-09-26T09:56:00.000-06:00

Is it only Wednesday? Ugh. I woke up this morning and my ears were on fire. There is only one explanation for this: I was clenching my jaw all night.

Meanwhile, I have a couple of new poems up over at Prick of the Spindle. It's kind of strange to see those poems in public since I already know a few things that I'd like to revise.

2007-09-21T14:19:00.000-06:00

I guess the way to tell that school is back in is through my diminished posting. I can only manage random things:

there was an incident and now my hair is black. Oops.
the weather keeps changing from summer to fall and back again.
we killed all the crickets.
I really want to see "Eastern Promises."
lately, it is necessary to be aware of falling walnuts. They fall randomly and could potentially be painful should they hit one's head. On a windy day like today, especially--I counted 12 walnuts fall almost on my head while walking to class.
why do girls who have really blond hair wear extremely dark eyeliner all around their eyes so it looks like they have two holes in their head?
why is this list taking me forever to write and so boring?
because nothing is really happening right now?

Here is a picture of Josh. Give him avocado skin halves, and he turns into an alien. Forever young.

Letter to a Young Soldier

2007-09-12T16:04:00.000-06:00

I am sad for you, young soldier,
for your white sneakers
and blue jeans, blond hair.

You turned your eyes
from the war on the TV screen, closed your lids
to avoid seeing the skin, flayed in strips,
the cracked bones, the exploded head.
The body of a bombed baby, stiff like a bundle
of firewood, held by her father
overhead as he shouts in rage and grief,
his tears running into all that blood,
mixing it into dirty rivers.

What will happen when you can no longer
turn your head, close your eyes?
I am sad when I think of what you will create
some day. What you will destroy.
What will create you.
Destroy you.

2007-09-12T08:45:00.000-06:00

Hmm. Last night I dreamt that I sauteed crickets and beetles in a wok with a little olive oil.

Then I ate them. They were very crunchy.

Then I woke up because Josh was pushing me. I don't know why. Maybe I was hogging the bed or crowding him? But I was disgusted and repulsed with myself and I could feel cricket legs in my mouth, so I just rolled over.

and just like that, summer is over

2007-09-06T14:57:00.000-06:00

First week back in school. Going back in the fall is always bittersweet: there are good parts and there are not-as-good parts. There are people that I miss a lot, but there are also new people to meet. I dislike all the nit-picky things at the beginning of the semester because they're small and make me feel anxious and forgetful. Things like getting the right books, paying bills, learning students' names, setting up library visits for my classes, putting readings on e-reserve, etc. Josh got me a back-to-school survival kit which had some handy things in it, especially that bottle of wine that's almost gone.

I think good things will happen this semester. Already I've had two more poems accepted by another journal, so yay!

it's true!

2007-08-24T07:12:00.001-06:00

Despite my phobia, I can't stop watching videos of crickets. Here's how it works: many crickets have a parasitic worm living inside of them (horsehair worm). When the cricket is big, the worm completely takes over the cricket's brain and convinces the cricket to kill itself by jumping into water. The worm then exits the cricket's body and swims away to make a love connection with another horsehair worm. I think this is somewhat fascinating--the cricket doesn't WANT to kill itself, but the worm completely takes over the cricket's brain. Kind of a like a zombie. See for yourself. The first one is OK. The next one is kind of gross.

Gross Cricket and Horsehair Worms

2007-08-24T07:04:00.001-06:00

more of the same...

2007-08-22T15:27:00.000-06:00

Last night, the unthinkable happened.

Let me back up to tell you that Josh and I were having a little argument before bed about which is worse: crickets or grasshoppers. As you probably can guess, I said crickets. Josh said grasshoppers because they can attack your face but crickets don't attack faces because they don't jump that high. I said but grasshoppers never (or rarely) show up in your house and they are really just like butterflies when they fly around, whereas crickets are all OVER the place and COULD hit your face if it was the right angle.

Obviously we didn't settle the argument and eventually went to bed. The lights were off about 5 minutes when I suddenly felt this frantic swiping and shuffling noise next to me. Then, the lights were suddenly turned on and Josh was hitting the bed and scooping something up. I hardly dared ask what it was, but I finally did.

It was a cricket. It was jumping across his face. A cricket in our bed.

He threw it in the toilet. I asked Josh if he flushed it because crickets are so crafty that they do this thing where they pretend to be dead when you hit them once. But they come back to life when you're not looking. So, you throw a cricket that you think is dead in the toilet, and you come back half an hour later and he's fully resuscitated himself and is climbing out of the toilet. Josh said the cricket was definitely dead. I made him go check.

Guess what? The cricket had come back to life! I was right about so many things last night. I should be a cricket expert.

~ ~ ~

Hey folks, you can check out one of my poems that's published online now. Either click here to go to The Pedestal Magazine or click here to go right to my poem. I don't really like to preface my poems much, but this one is part of what I hope will be a larger project (dissertation?): a collection of poems with a variety of female personas that explore common thematic issues relating to the feminine experience. I hope you enjoy....

the good, the bad, and the ugly

2007-08-20T14:46:00.000-06:00

First, the good:

I've had poems accepted at two more journals. This is exciting!

Josh and I went camping this past weekend. It was fun for the first few hours. The rest of the camping experience goes in the next section.

The bad:

I have what appears to be a stress fracture in my leg. X-rays were negative, but all symptoms point to a textbook case of a stress fracture. This is a huge bummer as it means I can't run for at least two months. It makes me sad.

Like I said earlier, we went camping. It was great for the first five hours. The first problem is that my air mattress had a hole in it. I blew out my lungs blowing it up, and by the time we went to bed, it didn't have a single puff of air in it. I've slept on the ground before so it's not a huge deal, but it's not that comfortable either. Then, soon after we went to bed, the biggest thunderstorm ever descended upon us. It's like ALL the storms and rain we DIDN'T have this summer gathered together into one big violent storm. It lasted all night, pouring rain and thundering and lightning. The thing that got me was the lightning--it was right over top of us for several hours and I don't do well with lightning in the best of circumstances. With only a thin layer of tent between us and getting fried by lightning?--well, I didn't sleep a wink. To top it all off, our bedding was wet by morning, and it was still raining. So we came home early. Huge disappointment as I was really excited for camping. But not enough to sleep in wet blankets.

Now, the ugly:

actually, nothing ugly to report

but here's some photos of the weekend we managed to catch in spite of it all:

It looks peaceful, doesn't it? If only...

And yes, we were still in South Dakota even if it doesn't look like it here:

Can you spot the bird? He's doing a pretty good camouflage job. I think he was just a baby because he wasn't moving much.

Josh is trying to teach the little bird to fly:

That's all for now.

grasshoppers kissing

2007-08-16T15:38:00.000-06:00

Or whatever these things are.

things that don't impress me

2007-08-14T14:07:00.001-06:00

crickets. But I've said enough about those lately. But you should have seen the one we caught last night. It was h-u-g-e and fat and juicy. Then this morning I found one crawling up the side of our bed. I tried to get it, and it had such a springy jump that it flew up in the air and narrowly missed hitting my head. Yes, that is how high those creepy critters can jump.
the pain in my leg. But I don't want to talk about that either.
and last of all, finding out that somebody in California used our bank card to buy a bunch of stuff from Target and Sound Connections (whatever that is), plus a meal at McDonald's. How did they get our bank information? We don't know. But we do know that we're suddenly $900 poorer. And that does not impress me. Not one bit. I commented to Josh that if we met this person(s) face-to-face, I would feel an overwhelming urge to punch him/her as hard as I could. With no remorse. I find that kind of angry/violent feeling a little scary when it surfaces inside of myself. I like to think I'm a non-violent person. But $900?? What kind of person can live with him/herself after doing that? It's not like we have money to spare. Now you know--fraud can happen to anyone.

I can only remember three times in my life when I've been purposely violent towards someone else. But I'll save those stories for another day.

yay!

2007-08-07T15:32:00.000-06:00

I just found out that one of my poems is accepted for publication in an online journal. I even get some money out of the deal (not enough to make me rich, but so?). I will let you all know when the issue is up.

Cricket update: I was taking a nice shower this morning and afterwards I was drying off. I was just about to slide from the shower into my (black) slippers when I saw a slight movement in one of them. Yep, a cricket making itself at home. I beat it until it was flat, but I haven't been able to stomach putting on my slippers since then. The thought of its disgusting spindly little legs crawling around in my nice soft slippers makes me almost throw up. My repulsion of crickets might be a little neurotic?

crickets & boats

2007-08-01T09:54:00.000-06:00

So I get up about 6:00 this morning to go for a run, and I'm stumbling around half-asleep. I'm in the bathroom, leaning over the sink to put in my contacts. In the semi-dark, out of the corner of my eye, I see something jumping in the sink. Guess what it was? Here it is:

A huge cricket ! Talk about a 6 AM heart attack! And I'm a little bit embarrassed to say that I went and woke up Josh and kind of hinted that I'd like him to kill it. Which he did, bless his dear soul. You see, I only kill crickets with fly swatters, and the angles of a sink do not lend themselves to effective fly swatter swats. And why is a cricket in the sink? Can they climb up drains?

* * * * *

We went to Okoboji for the weekend. It was fun. I felt very pale next to all the tanned people in their boats and fancy houses. But it was still a good time. Josh did some water-skiing and I was quite impressed! He got up every time and circled around and around the lake like a pro.

We went to an outdoor concert in Arnolds Park:

Mossy rocks:

And nice sunsets:

Happy August. The summer is flying!

what is this?

2007-07-26T11:44:00.000-06:00

It was on our mailbox, and I've never seen such a creature before. Any insect-ologists with the answer?

It is blazing hot outside. Again. They promised us rain and a cold front today. I'm waiting for it.

Waiting waiting waiting....

Is there anything romantic about summer on the prairie? I'm sure there is and I'm not dissing any prairie-lovers, but my BC blood finds it hard to function in this weather.

we got them married!

2007-07-24T08:15:00.000-06:00

Margo and Scoot are now married. What a fun, fast, and furious weekend it was. So many people to see, so many things to do--and all of it was much more relaxing since we weren't in the spotlight this time! It was a beautiful wedding. Our family keeps on growing:

I just couldn't resist including this photo of brother John striking a pose, yo:

And this little guy was definitely the life of the party. Who can resist such a cutie?

If you care to see more pictures, check them out in my online album by clicking here and going into the one called "Margo and Scoot's Wedding."

* * * * *

Back to real life now. It is definitely the dog days of summer. I went running at 6:00 this morning and it was already sweltering and sticky outside. I almost turned into a puddle.

the fun is starting

2007-07-20T07:14:00.000-06:00

Sister Margo the Lion is getting married this Saturday to Scoot. People are starting to trickle in for the celebration, and it's getting fun! Last night Josh and I went to my parents' house in Sioux Center to see some people.
Here's Scott and Josh smoking, and my dad tending to some steaks:

And people are chatting in the kitchen:

While my mom fiddles around with stuff:

And Josh and big brother John tell secrets by the back door:

Scott and I having a camera war:

Little brother Daniel and Margo:

And I take some sips:

That's all for now!

a room of one's own

2007-07-13T10:37:00.000-06:00

Virginia Woolf was right in a lot of ways. A room of one's own is a very necessary thing if one is trying to write. At home, I have a study and lots of quiet time.* But if I stay home day after day, I start to go a little mental/crazy in the head. I've been staking out a corner of the library the past couple of weeks. I work there in the afternoons and I've gotten some good writing in. Here's a corner of my own:

It is on the top floor with a nice view and some good leaves to look at. Once in a while I even see Josh walking around doing his electrical stuff.

One of my favourite parts might be the hibiscus. The best days are when it has a flower blooming.

For a hilarious essay on what it's like to live with a poet, read this article from Poetry magazine. For those who write in multiple genres, is the writing process very different for each one? I mostly write poetry and it is a slow process of assembling images and metaphors. I can't imagine banging out a dozen or so pages in just a few hours.

* edit: "lots of quiet time" = it's very quiet at home during the day. It doesn't mean that I have all this free time on my hands (esp. during the school year).

2007-07-11T15:44:00.000-06:00

I've been killing a lot of these in our apartment lately. Baby ones. I'm sorry to all the animal lovers out there, but these things give me the creeps. No matter how long I live in the Midwest, I just can't get used to their erratic jumping and incessant chirping ways.

p.s. Is this a metaphor?

the things we do

2007-07-10T07:59:00.000-06:00

Summer continues to roll along nicely. This is us at the wedding we were at a few weeks ago (blurry, again--sorry):

Josh likes to break out his yoga moves at random moments:

And.... chocolate fondue! Finally getting around to using some of our wedding presents:

And tonight I get to see my sister!

cures

2007-07-01T19:22:00.000-06:00

Any cures for headaches? I've had one for a week now, and it's starting to get me down. Aleve does nothing.

...and then there was one

2007-06-29T10:18:00.000-06:00

Last fall, we started the year with four of us in our office. It was grand. Then J left at Christmas. She was ABD and also having a baby. Now DG is also ABD and he left us for a bigger, cooler city. SG is not ABD; nevertheless, he got a coveted job teaching in Kelowna, BC, so he's left too.

I am the only one left in the office, and it's sad. I took over DG's desk, which is the only good part about everyone leaving. It has a nice view (except that I've already made a mess of it):

It will be lonely now. Of course, new people will come in this fall and it will be fun to get to know them. But right now, I miss the old ones.

Hey, we have a hummingbird! Finally! He comes around every evening about 8:00 to snack from our feeder. He's only there for a minute or so, and he gets frightened easily, so it's hard to get any good pictures of him. Also, the very active barn swallows probably scare him too. Those swallows even try to dive-bomb us humans. They are protective of their nest with babies in it. Here's our hummingbird last night:

the case of the disappearing summer

2007-06-25T12:46:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how quickly summer is passing by. This is the last week of teaching up in Sioux Falls for me. I'm kind of sad--these were some of the most enjoyable students I've had in a while, and I'll miss them.

It's wedding season, and we went to another cousin's wedding this weekend. Josh played a few pieces on classical guitar (and his mom accompanied). He did well and I was proud of him.

We also just finished a marathon run of "Twin Peaks." Addictive! The final episode was so unsettling--I wanted it to keep going. At the same time, I don't know if we'd ever get anything else done if we kept watching "Twin Peaks" all the time. So it's probably good that it's done.

I've caught some mysterious cold. Not too fun, but I'll survive.

There isn't much going on here; hence, the lack of posting lately.

~

creatures

2007-06-11T19:22:00.000-06:00

First of all, it was another great weekend. This weekend was special in that we could relax and stay home! In fact, Saturday was Domestic Day, which basically means that we cleaned (most) of our apartment for the first time in.... a couple of months? It felt really good.

We also go to celebrate Josh's grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. That was good too, although I'll let him share the details and pictures on his own blog. (hint)

On the way back from Sioux Center yesterday, we caught sight of these cute little creatures by the side of the road. They're not bunnies, that's for sure, but they were almost as cute! Two baby skunks wandering around. They looked so lost. I was afraid that their mother was roadkill somewhere down the road.

They didn't like it when I got too close though. They turned around, lifted up their tails and made a low schreeching noise. I think they were too young to have any toxic spray shoot out of their butt--at least, I didn't smell anything.

I am really enjoying summer and life right now. Even though I got another rejection in the mail today. I think that is the last one of the batch of submissions I sent out last fall. Now I will start all over. Once I've done a bit more writing this summer.

"girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know, it's serious"

2007-06-06T10:05:00.000-06:00

It's been almost a week since we got back from Thunder Bay, and I haven't gotten around to posting about it. It's not because I've been busy--it's more like it finally feels like summer and I'm just enjoying relaxing in the evenings.

Anyway, the trip was fun. It's always good to reconnect with some crazy Canadian relatives. Just to prove that we were there, here are some pictures.

Josh says, "Don't bother me while I'm focusing on eating my icing."

Daniel with his tie flung over his shoulder, his nose covered in Vaseline, ready to race to the other side of the room and bury his face in cotton balls. Just another fun game played at Canadian wedding receptions.

Sarah says, "Stop taking pictures of me."

The happy couple dancing. Sorry that it's blurry and dark.

I know it's hard to see, but I needed documentation of the groom shaking a leg to "Who Let the Dogs Out." Woof! Woof!

On the way home, Josh needs his beauty sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

We didn't see any bears. However, I met another creature. We fell in love.

I WANT ONE.

what we've been up to

2007-05-21T20:39:00.001-06:00

Keeping busy over here. Attacking our infestation of ants:

And Josh is building flower boxes for our patio. Boxes to put flowers in, probably pretty flowers. Right now, they're just boxes though:

Josh went to yoga today. He loved it, but he has been groaning all night whenever he moves.

I'm working on my syllabus. I start teaching up in Sioux Falls tomorrow.

Ciao--

burnt?

2007-04-24T21:34:00.000-06:00

I think I’m getting burnt out?

It was a miserable weekend. Many, many hours spent on that ludicrous class—bibliographies, annotations, prospectus, etc. Far fewer hours spent sleeping. I went to bed Sunday night with an incredibly sore back from working at the computer all weekend. Got up at 4:00 the next morning (Monday) in order to keep working on it. Dragged myself around all day. Tired.

Josh asked me yesterday at breakfast how I was doing. I think I’ve seen too many episodes of “30 Rock” lately. Whenever Tina Fey is flustered or overwhelmed or frustrated, she says, “Blurg.” When Josh asked me how I was doing, I said, “Blurg.”

* * *

(you missed those, didn’t you?)

Yesterday when I was working I heard a little boy yell, “Hey, bring your snakes over here to this sand!” I looked out the window. Sure enough, the boy was holding a squirming snake in his hands. He kept yelling: “Bring your snakes over here!” No one came running. After a few minutes he finally said, “Fine! My snake will be happy, and you’ll just have sad snakes!”

* * *

These pictures are from when we ran away last week. I was supposed to be in class one day last week, but instead I asked Josh if we could run away and he finally said yes! We didn’t get very far, and we didn’t run either; we drove. We made it down into Nebraska though, to the Missouri River and beyond. I was able to feel relaxed and carefree, liberated from the pressures of the everyday. That night, I had the best sleep I’ve had in months. What does that say?? Blurg.

Blurg.

*

2007-04-17T21:18:00.000-06:00

It is only a little past 10:00 and I am not finished all assignments for tomorrow, but I'm going to bed. And I'm not getting up at 4:00 tomorrow morning to finish up the assignment like I would normally do. I just can't. Perhaps it was a mistake, but I watched the news while I was eating my oatmeal, walnuts, milk and apple this morning, and I have felt immensely sad all day about the Virginia Tech shootings.

I don't know why it's bothering me so much, but I could hardly concentrate all day. I keep imagining what it must have been like for the professors and students in the building, in class where all sorts of freedoms and securities are supposed to be in place on a multitude of levels. And then I feel sad about the shooter--is this dumb, but I can't believe he was an English major. Why? Because I always have this idea that people become English majors because they love reading, because literature takes them outside of their own viewpoint on the world, because their worlds expand through reading. In other words, aren't lovers of literature supposed to be people who are skillful at empathizing with others? But this was obviously not the case here. And where does that rage come from? How could he have possibly thought, yesterday morning, "this is my best option"? I don't understand.

I read some news stories online in which one of his Creative Writing professors discussed how he wrote disturbing stories and plays about... death. And it seems painfully ironic that I had just posted on here, jokingly, about that a couple weeks ago. Should I be paying closer attention to my students' writing? What if I miss something too?

And my biggest question out of all of this is: what kind of absurd country do we live in where it's perfectly acceptable and legal to buy firearms? Rifles for hunting--fine. But handguns? Glocks? WHAT FOR? I hate that line: "guns don't kill people--people kill people." It's not true. This is true: "People with guns kill people." I also hate the line that it's a Constitutional right to carry a gun. Because it says so in some document that's a couple of centuries old? Because to disagree with it would be (gasp) unpatriotic? Because that document is on the level of the Bible and we blindly accept all aspects of it? Because we're still fighting the Civil War? I just can't fathom what gun advocates fight for: if their wishes are carried to the ultimate end, they would have us live in a society where everyone walks around toting a gun. Great--isn't that the mark of a well-functioning, democratic society? One in which everyone is suspicious of everyone else, one in which you need a gun in order to feel semi-secure walking down the street. Yeah, that's my idea of "freedom."

I felt sad all day, and at one point I looked out the window at the daycare near our apartment. I saw a little boy kissing a little girl. Then some other little boys ran up to the pair and started pushing and shoving them. The little kissing boy ran away, and then the whole group began practising karate moves. It was simultaneously cute and ominous. It is hard to enjoy moments of innocence when it's been so brutally stripped away.

This is turning into a rant, and I apologize. I guess I've been upset all day, and I haven't known what to do about it. I guess I will go check on my bread that's baking. Sometimes, that's all you can do.

anywhere but here

2007-04-14T15:13:00.000-06:00

We were driving home from Ma and Pa's on Easter (I don't really call them Ma and Pa in real life, but it seemed like a good idea here) when we saw this balloon landing in Hawarden:

And of course I wanted to get in the balloon and float float float away from here, away from this semester. I am homesick for mountains lately. And trees. And springtime flowers. And it is Saturday, but I am already dreading Monday and sitting for two hours of torture in that mind-numbing, outdated, ridiculous Bibliography class. What would be worse: two torturous hours in that class, or getting some moles removed?

What can you tell me about getting moles removed? What is it like? Does it hurt?

Here, let's lighten up this post with a cute picture. We had the Bakkers over last weekend for supper and some bourbon (floats). They're all cute people in that family, but here's the cutest one in the bunch:

(the guy holding the cutest one is also pretty cute, I think)

death! it's the thing to do!

2007-04-05T11:12:00.000-06:00

I finished another round of conferences with my Creative Writing students this week. This time it was on their short stories. I would estimate that 90% of the stories involved some type of death. For example, death by:

blunt force trauma with crow bar, wielded by a suddenly-psychotic boyfriend
rare lung disease
car crash right before the guy is going to propose to the girl
another car crash, kills parents
cannibals
electric chair
good old-fashioned murder with a gun
suicide
alien attack
IED in Iraq
lightning

Is there nothing else to write about?

knock knock....orange you glad?

2007-03-30T14:31:00.000-06:00

Ahhh, it's Friday.

I love Friday nights because it's the only time during the week when I feel like I have a legitimate right to relax and not feel guilty for ignoring work. And today is especially good because I finally finished that huge pile of grading that I mentioned a couple posts back. I got up at 5:00 this morning so I could finish grading the last essays before teaching today.

Didn't that stack take you a really long time to finish?

Why, yes, it did. Approximately two weeks.

So don't you have a new, equally large stack of grading to take its place?

I suppose I do. A new stack grew while I was working on the old one.

So how long will this stack take? When will you ever catch up?

Don't ruin my moment.

* * *

This week got off to a bad start on Monday already. It only got worse when Mudge made fun of the way I walk. But things started looking up when Eden, one of my roommates from Chicago, sent me photos of her little 1-year-old girl:

She is so cute that I just want to squeeze her. But I know that wouldn't be right.

* * *

Orange because I ate a lot of orange things today:

Grapefruit, carrots, cantaloupe--tasty, juicy.

* * *

Every weekend I ask Josh if we can run away. Maybe I will get my wish this weekend.

* * *

did I marry Schroeder?

2007-03-25T13:08:00.000-06:00

***

....but surely I am not Lucy?

***

happy women's day!

2007-03-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today is International Women's Day! I remembered this important holiday after receiving two lovely e-mails from guys with whom I studied in Russia, several years ago. For some reason, North America doesn't recognize the holiday, but if we were in other countries (for example, Russia) this day would be a big deal! There would be no school and no one would go to work. All the men and boys would buy flowers, chocolates and presents for the girls and women in their lives. And they would be nice to them all day. I have no flowers or chocolates to offer, but I have been deeply appreciating all the fine women in my life today. You should too.

* * *

In other news, it is Spring Break and although it's felt a bit spring-y, it hasn't felt very break-y. I seem to have a cloud that trails behind me everywhere these days. It says, "You shouldn't be reading that book for fun--you should be working. You shouldn't be sitting on the couch--you should be grading those papers. You shouldn't be writing a poem--you should be annotating that chapter. You shouldn't be sleeping--you should be working on that paper." In other words, the cloud is full of feelings of guilt and pressure and anxiety. Will it ever end, or is this life?

* * *

The best line of the semester that came from Josh's session of student teaching at the middle school? One of the students on the last day came up to Josh and got really close to his face and after he told Josh he would miss him, the student said, "Just between us, Mr. Barry is a lot uglier than you are!" (Mr. Barry is the cooperating teacher) I found that quite humourous. It beats getting called "darling" by one of your students (yes, that happened to me last week).

revolutions

2007-02-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

Although I didn't sleep well last night, I did manage to dream that the French Revolution was happening all over again, only this time in Canada. We were living in BC, and we got word that the Quebecois were getting set to rage westward across Canada. My parents thought they would be safest if they went into hiding on their own (were we a really bourgeois family?), and then I was in charge of gathering my siblings together and getting to safety. I think the plan was to drive down the west coast, all the way to Mexico. I remember spending a lot of time in a 6-storey parking garage.

Strange.

* * *

In the ever-popular topic of weather, I guess the spring-like air last week was just a big tease. We got dumped on this weekend. When we woke up Sunday morning, our parking lot was a mess! We weren't going anywhere that day. There was even a car stuck in the middle of the parking lot--I guess it tried to drive in late the night before and didn't have snowplow capabilities, so the driver just gave up.

Apparently more snow is expected tomorrow, and again on Thursday. I'm not sure I can take it too much longer.

* * *

But I did receive a bright package in the mail today. Socks, knitted by my mom! Thanks, Mom!

(hmm, this view makes my legs look funny)

My life with a vase

2007-02-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

Upon discovering Sarah's signature picture was now a vase of peacock feathers, I rushed into the other room to see what had become of her. What I feared was true. After pacing for what seemed a lifetime, I sat next to the vase with a laptop leaning against it and started to cry. As I exited the rush of emotion, I noticed the feathers were facing me. They almost seemed sad, as if to say, "You can still love me. I'm the same person you married on the inside."

I thought, "You're right, Sarah-vase. I do still love you." Putting my arm around her, I looked into 37 eyes that said, "I love you," and knew things were going to be OK.

I found that life has gone on just fine. We still do a lot together, and here are some pictures.

Wake up, sleepy head!

So pretty.

The candle light brings out her greens.

Starting the day off right with a good breakfast.

As good as life is, we're going to the doctor today to see if we can get to the bottom of this. Wish us luck!

Psst....

2007-02-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

Come hear me give a reading tomorrow at the VLP Poetry Festival. 12:00 p.m. in Farber Hall.

* * *
Welcome, Adriana! I totally remember you--glad that you survived comp. with me. Too bad you couldn't have stayed around to take Creative Writing this semester--Michelle's in the class. How are things in Iowa?

home again

2007-02-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

Despite delays in flights and an unexpected overnight stay in Sioux Falls because of the icy, zero-visibility treacherous roads, I made it home from Albuquerque on Saturday. All in all, an enjoyable time. The reading went well, although it was a small crowd (as usual, it seems). I think I'm taking a break from conferences though--I've presented at three this year, and that's enough.

After our reading, Sean is looking bemused and Courtney thinks she's hiding.

Albuquerque itself was fun, although we didn't get out much to explore. That's too bad. They had snow the day we came. Two inches, and New Mexicans were proclaiming it a "winter storm advisory." Ha! They should come to South Dakota. We spent time in the hotel bar, where Melissa and Sean enjoyed our company before ditching us to watch "American Idol." We also had live entertainment that night, which was Valentine's Day, when a rooster-ponytail and high-top-sporting woman with missing teeth had several loud unromantic shouting matches with her lanky, bad-tempered male companion (an example: "With you, it's always been rock 'n roll! Always rock 'n roll! Where do I fit in? Where do I fit in with the rock 'n roll??")

(this photo is of Melissa and Sean, not the shouting couple)

We went to Old Town, which is the original downtown of Albuquerque, before the railroad came through town and relocated the new downtown elsewhere (according to our cab driver). This church in Old Town was built in 17-something-or-other (I think).

It was fun to see snow, desert vegetation, and the typical sandstone-coloured buildings.

On our last night, we went to a fondue restaurant. The Melting Pot. Yes, fondue is back! This was our dessert fondue, after our large meal. In the pot is a Yin-Yang fondue, which happens to be a delicious combination of white and dark chocolate, into which we dipped strawberries, pineapple, cheesecake, and other horribly decadent items.

Marcia and Annie enjoying themselves, especially after Annie won an award for her poetry! Congratulations, Annie!

And that was Albuquerque. It is so good to be back though. I missed Josh a lot while I was gone. When I came home, the apartment was clean, there was Moroccan lamb stew cooking, and hazelnut truffles in the fridge. I love my husband! Now it is back to work and I don't feel like it! The weather has finally warmed up a bit, and consequently I have a severe case of spring fever....

catch me if you can

2007-02-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Another weekend flew by in a flash. It seems like we get snow every day now. Just a little bit yesterday, but the temperatures dropped down again. Looking forward to spring..... Here's the view out the window of our study:

Speaking of cold, I'll make a confession: yes, it's true that I still wear my sweatshirt from high school, the one you saw in the previous post. It's not that I'm so nostalgic for high school (because I'm really not), but it's a great sweatshirt to wear on cold days, or feeling-sorry-for-yourself days, or days when I just want to be cosy. I guess it's almost 10 years old, but I think it will be around for a long time yet. :)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I know it's early, but I'll be gone for the rest of the week to Albuquerque. I haven't packed yet--I leave in a little more than an hour. Why do I always feel frantic before these things?

visitors

2007-02-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Somehow this little guy got into the apartment and started rummaging around. As you can see, he looks mighty suspicious. We checked his pockets before he left.
This little guy belongs to Heidi and Arlo. His name is Taeda. Pretty irrestible photos, don't you think?

Taeda is telling Josh a story. "Look man, don't you get it?"

You can imagine the jokes we could use for this photo, but you can make up your own (perhaps in a comment). An example: Taeda is saying, "Hey, you should try this."

Taeda, though looking distressed here, was actually enjoying some new people for entertainment. Perhaps he is already experiencing the conflict between mother and other female in his life. He is quite fond of Sarah and her sweater's pull string. The fondness was reciprocated.

Thanks for visiting, Taeda and Heidi!

(is this Josh or Sarah?)

update on the old fogeys

2007-02-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, thanks to all of you who were concerned about my health (both on-blog and off-blog) and urged me to go to the doctor. After a week of excruciating pain in my ear, I finally went to the doctor on Friday. I was starting to get really worried that there was something horribly wrong with my ear, and that I would start losing my hearing or something. The doctor checked my ears and throat and he said both looked beautiful. When I described my symptoms to him, he said, "Oooohhhh.... I know." He made me open and close my jaw while he pressed right in front of my ears. Ouch. He diagnosed me with TMJ and said it's from clenching my jaw too much. I know this is true--I do it a lot, and especially lately. Stress, I guess.

So I'm on lots of Aleve with orders not to chew gum or anything crunchy. He also prescribed valium. I find this hilarious! I feel like a housewife from the 50's or something. But he said it's a muscle relaxant and my muscles need to relax so that they don't keep tightening up in my jaw. I wonder what else it will relax???

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now. This is such a relief. Now I can eat more than smoothies, soup and applesauce. Also, my brain seems to work better too, now that the sharp stabbing in my ear has diminished quite a bit. Yay!

So here are some pictures of us being old fogeys. One evening last week we were sitting in the living room working on stuff. Josh had been to the gym and was sore from lifting weights. Here he is using the "alien head" massager that we got from Margaret and Scott:

And I have the heating pad on the side of my jaw and ear that was so incredibly painful:

We're doing much better today! Josh is even wearing his really tight jeans that he keeps hoping will stretch. I tell him that if you can't get the top button closed, it means they're too small! But he can't bear to throw them away. Every once in a while he pulls them out and wears them for a day. He usually gets a stomachache. I tell him he looks like a character from a Tim Burton movie with his skinny legs in skin-tight jeans. But he still wants to prove that he can fit in those jeans!

one month/can anyone diagnose me?

2007-01-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

It's our one-month anniversary today. I can't believe how quickly the month has gone, and yet, so much has happened. Marriage has been really great so far. I definitely recommend it.

Anyway, we're not celebrating tonight. In fact, I haven't seen Josh since 6:30 this morning, and he won't be home until 11:00 because he has orchestra practice tonight. As for me, I feel horrible today--I don't know what's wrong with me. It started coming a bit on Saturday night, then got worse on Sunday, then today it kept getting worse and worse. The symptoms:

--sore throat when I swallow
--headache on the right side of my head
--very painful right ear, especially when I swallow
--sore at the back of the right side of my mouth, near my back molars
--can't open my mouth very wide
--when I move my lower jaw around, I feel a popping sensation

Even though one of my students told me I should get tested for mono, I'm trying to self-diagnose, and so far I've come up with three possibilities:

--just a sore throat/cold
--my wisdom tooth is infecting my whole head
--I have TMJ syndrome?
--or maybe a combination of 2, or all 3?

Does anyone know anything about TMJ syndrome? Why does it hurt to open my mouth?

* * * * *

Enough of that. It seems fitting to post some weding photos today. These are only the candid shots. Our formal shots are still coming. I've sorted through all of the photos and tried to cut down the number (from more than 300 down to 80).

Here are a few to whet your appetite...

I love this photo of Margo and Melanie...

The rest are in an online album which you can access by clicking HERE.

do you have a case of the Fridays?

2007-01-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

I think I do. I walked home after my class today because it was so sunny and mild out (relatively speaking). There were puddles on the sidewalks, some lakes. I got nostalgic for Fridays in Chicago. Almost every single Friday I would hop on the train and head downtown after my last class was finished--usually early afternoon. I would sit and read and write in a coffeeshop somewhere downtown. Then I would grab a copy of The Reader, see what movies were playing that week, and decide which matinee I wanted to see. Then I would find my way to the theatre, which was usually a different theatre every week. I saw a lot of the city that way. And a lot of movies.

But Vermillion just isn't the same as Chicago.

* * * * *

I started this blog on Friday, but then Josh came home so stopped writing. Now it's Sunday morning and I'm back. We spent most of yesterday unpacking boxes with dishes and silverware and other stuff, as well as a bit of cleaning. The chaos seems to diminish in one room, but then it reproduces itself in another room. I don't know if the end is in sight.... I hope so.

In between all the boxes and cleaning, we did manage to relax for a bit. For example, we lounge on counters.

* * * * *

Here's a hilarious story. On Friday morning Josh e-mailed me from his school with a love letter that one of the teachers found in the hallway. Bless those middle schoolers--the letter was priceless! It was so good that I copied it onto a transparency and took it to show my creative writing class that afternoon. After all, we were discussing imagery, metaphors, similes, etc. It was a good demonstration of how bad metaphors and imagery can make your writing sound ricidulous. We all had a good laugh. It's all about collaboration. Here's the letter:

Dearest lover,Your lips are like roses. Your face is softer than a baby's bottom. Yourhair shivers in the sunlight. Every time you laugh it makes me smile.Your eyes are like two pools of crystal. I love how sit on your roof inthe moon light. Your sexy bod turns me on. Baby!I love you ________! Smell me.

* * * * *

POLL: in this picture, does Josh look like he's saying:

a) "I'm really friendly; come on over and let's hug!"
b) "How dare you take my picture? I'm going to flatten you with my big muscles!"
c) "The world disgusts me."

Please submit your answer.